Before and After Weight Loss: What the camera can't capture

I don't show many before and after pictures of my weight loss because, quite frankly, I don't like the implication that there is a 'before' and 'after' me. I'm a work in progress, and my body is much more complex than being summed up by 'fat' or 'thin'.

So this is my 'before' and 'after' story for you:

Before I lost weight, I spent a lot of time with my kids. We were active, we had fun, we did tons of exciting things together. Our family has always been extremely physically active, despite what my waist line might have indicated.

My life was full, rich, and very, very happy.

But I would come home exhausted. Keeping up with the kids was- physically speaking- really hard work, and I remember being worried about what I would do when I just couldn't keep up to them any more...

Yesterday, I spent hours outside with my kids. We cross-country skied, we went on the kick-sled, I showed Charlie some of my tricks at the park (apparently I can do a pull up again. Cool!) and then we went ice skating.

I came home and didn't feel exhausted. In fact, I felt fantastic. The exercise, the fresh air, and the fun made me feel like a million bucks. I could easily have gone for another two or three hours of playing in the snow, and I knew that if they ran away on me, I'd always be able to catch them.

Knowing that I can keep up with my kids, even as they grow older, faster, stronger, and more demanding, is my 'after'. It is peace of mind that comes with knowing that I do not need to sit out of an activity because 'mommy is too tired' or 'mommy needs a break' is my reward. It is the hope that if I treat my body well, I may just earn myself one extra day/month/year in this beautiful life before my time expires.

Having ten thousand more days like the one I had yesterday is my motivation.

The camera can't capture that image. It won't tell you that story.

Because sometimes the drive to change your life has nothing to do with how you look.

Sometimes the most important 'after' changes happen on the inside.

Carbs: The 'Good', The 'Great' and the 'You Can't Live Without Them'!

Carbohydrates. There is likely no topic more controversial when it nutrition than this particular macro group. Over the past decade, carbs have gotten a bad rap due to the emergence of diet trends advocating 'low carbs', 'no carbs' or 'high fats/proteins' as being better for your overall health. Many claim that their low carb diet was the key to their weight loss and that it has transformed their lives for the better! And yet, all the major nutrition organizations continue to push carbs as being the most important nutrient in your diet...

So what's the real deal with carbs?  Do we actually need them? And how much is too much?

What are carbs?
Carbohydrates, abbreviated either 'carbs' or CHO, are the sugars, starches and fibres found in foods. If you're thinking to yourself: "Wow, that sounds like a really big category!", you're right. Carbs are present in virtually foods with the exception of meats, eggs and certain types of seafood and dairy products. All of your fruits, vegetables and grain products contain carbs.

Right off the bat, this should tell you something: "NO" carb diets are a very, very bad idea.  Avoiding all fruits, vegetables and grains all together would mean eliminating virtually all your sources for vitamins and minerals. For the record, this is a very, very bad thing. It's also virtually impossible to do for any significant period of time, so be very weary of any diet advocating a 'no carb' approach.

Yes, carbs are almost everywhere in food- to varying degrees- and that's not accidental! They provide the body with its primary form of energy. When the molecules of sugars and starches are absorbed into the system, they convert into glucose, which is pretty much the main fuel that makes our body go.  Glucose is critically important for giving you energy, fuelling your brain and helping you create red blood cells- all processes that allow you to maintain homeostasis, which basically is what keeps you alive. Fibre does not convert to glucose, but both soluble and insoluble fibres play pretty important roles in keeping your digestive tract happy.

In short, carbs are your friend. 
So why the movement away from them? Well, carbs are a little misunderstood. You see, when you eat carbs, your body sugar levels increase, often rather quickly since carbs are so easily metabolized by your system. This results in the release of insulin, which your body uses to regulate blood sugars. This is a good thing- a pretty important thing really. Insulin is what keeps your body sugars in balance, and it is also what allows you to store excess energy (in the form of glycogen) into your cells.

Now, I'm not going to bore you with the physiological details, but suffice it to say that the basic premise behind low carb diets is to decrease the amount of insulin that you produce (by avoiding spikes in your blood sugar levels that can be caused by simple carbs), thereby forcing your body to burn fat instead of the stored glycogen (which would be converted back to glucose to be used as energy).

So, that sounds good, right? Burning fat instead of stored reserves of sugars means less fat, right?

Sort of.
Again, let's go back and revisit what carbs are good for: they are your primary source of energy. While they aren't technically essential, since your body can fuel itself from fats and proteins, they are the most effective source of energy and contain the highest percentage of vitamins and minerals.

So depleting carbs= less available energy...which often means less ability to do the things that you need to do in order to make your body work optimally. Headaches, weakness, fatigue, constipation, diarrhea...these are all risks when you go too low on the carb machine. And if you've ever tried to work out when you're feeling any of these symptoms....well, you know how well that goes.

Beyond that, there's an awful lot of fats and proteins in the foods that are 'no carb', and super loading on these fats and proteins can actually cause a fair amount of trouble on their own (more on that later!).

Research does indicate that a low carb diet may help with the initial phase of weight loss, but by one year in, the differentiation between a low carb and a balanced carb diet are negligible.

But, by far the biggest risk when it comes to dramatically reducing carbs is neglecting all those tiny little micronutrients that everyone forgets to talk about: vitamins and minerals. These are critical for just about every function of the human body, and skipping out on them is pretty much the worst idea ever. Unfortunately, research shows that taking a supplement just isn't as effective as taking these in from food sources, so making sure to eat your veggies and fruits is kind of a big deal.

So how many carbs do I need?

Depends on who you ask. The Canadian Food Guide recommends that 45-65% of your caloric intake be comprised of carbs! This means that if you are eating 2000 calories a day (which is a decent ball park average for most people and the 'normal' calorie intake of most food labels), you're looking at 900 to 1300 calories just from your carbs! That's a lot of carbs, particularly when you consider that most basic carbs (fruits, vegetables, and unrefined grains) are actually pretty low calorie compared to your fats and proteins! When it comes to filling up your plate, that's a lot of bang for your buck.

But...

How you get those carbs in...well, there is some wiggle room there.

You see, there are a couple of different types of carbs, and focusing in one some while avoiding the others can be a pretty decent strategy for finding the balance.

Simple carbs are sugars. Most are comprised of just one or two sugar molecules, which means that they are very quickly absorbed and digested. This group, which includes table sugar, molasses, honey, and fruit juices, is not so necessary for your functioning- that is, unless you need a quick intake of sugar, as soon as possible (which may be the case for people in insulin shock). Many people refer to these types of carbs as 'empty calories', because their nutritional value is low for the amount of calories that they deliver.

In short, if you want to lower your carb intake, start there.

Note: Most fruit is technically considered a simple carb, but because of the awesome amount of fibre and micronutrients, we don't consider fruit to be 'empty calories'. Fruit is generally a healthy, albeit high in sugar, choice.

Beyond this, many people choose to limit their grain intake. Again, this can be a little risky in terms of ensuring that you are getting all your vitamins, minerals, and fibre intake- grains are excellent sources for these- but it is doable to get by primarily on plant sources of carbs.  What you need to remember is that plant sources are significantly lower in carb count than grains are. So, if you are going to go grain free, look for high carb plant sources like starchy vegetables (squashes, potatoes, sweet potatoes, beans, legumes) and high fibre vegetables, including cucumbers, broccoli, asparagus and peas. Make sure you get a variety of vegetables and fruits onto your daily plate so that you hit all those key nutritional needs above and beyond your calorie count.

And remember, you're going to need an awful lot of vegetables and fruits to get your daily carb requirements compared to grain or simple carb sources. So take the time to really do the math and understand what your actual dietary needs are before cutting the additional sources out.

But wait- if 45-65% of my diet should be carb based...why do I hear about protein all the time? 

That, friends, is a question for my next post.

As always, my best advice for those who are seeking to make radical dietary changes is talk to a professional! A nutritionist, dietician or health care provider should be your number one stop for all questions diet related!

Hey, Fat-Phobe...

My response to the recent letter that is circulating called Hey Fat Girl. I encourage you to read it via this specific link, so as to not drive traffic to the site. I also encourage you to read it first, as I have style my response to be as close as possible to the original letter. 

Hey, "Nosy, Judgmental, Fat-Phobic Girl/Boy"

Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. Me, in my imperfect running form, sweating profusely, still covered in a layer of fat that reflects my age and my former body size more than it does my actual fitness level.

Your eyes are slow, making their way up and down my body, and I see in them that familiar flash: "Fat. Girl." You think to yourself. I know that look. I've seen it often enough before.

Despite your best efforts, my body makes you cringe.

You pick up your pace a bit. I can always tell when a thin girl/boy is getting ready to lap me. Maybe it's an attempt to show me up. Maybe it's just the excitement and anticipation and making it around fast enough to get a good second look at the size of my ass.

I'm sweating so much my hair is wet. It disgusts you. "Why do fat people sweat so much?" you ask yourself. But you don't know enough about fitness and physiology to actually know the answer to your own question, so you move on. You run your 20 minutes before hitting the machines. Or maybe today it is the free weights. Sometimes, you run just long enough to warm up before that awesome TRX class you are heading into.

You're strong, and lean, and toned. I get it. I noticed you flex just a little bit more when our eyes locked momentarily.

Yes. In case, you're wondering, I'm impressed. Sure. Why not.

You know I'm working hard. And at least I'm trying, right? Even if I am not as awesome as you are...at least I'm trying...

So you smile at me. That sick, sweet, condescending smile of 'encouragement'. Sometimes, you even feel compelled to talk to me. To support me. To tell me "Hey, great job (fat girl)! Keep it up!"  Sometimes, you've even gone far enough to notice that I'm holding a pretty damn good pace..."Wow, you're pretty fast! That's awesome! Great progress."

And then you go on your merry way, proud of yourself for showing such kindness onto you fellow (fat) human (sub) being. 

I've got something to say to you. 

You're a fool. 

If you'd look me in the eye for only an instant, you would notice a few important things: First: I don't actually care if you respect me. That does not validate my existence any more than any other stranger on the street would. That you are thin and fit does not actually give you any special status in my eyes.

Beyond that, I don't actually need your support or encouragement. And you are pretty damn presumptuous to think that I do.

You see, this 'adventure I have started' isn't a new one. I've been at this game a while. In fact, while I watched you run your 20 minute laps around the track, what you failed to notice was that I had started running before you. In fact, I had already clocked 7km before you ran past me, and continued running through out most of your weight training time. Clocking in at 15 km, with a steady pace of 6.5 mph, I'm not actually a new runner at all. I'm just not a thin one.

Here's what you don't quite seem to understand: The "gigantic effort" that it took for me to "show up here", 'face my fears' and 'bravely set myself in motion, in front of others'...well, it's only actually a gigantic effort because of people like you!

While you are over there patting yourself on the back for being 'kind' to a fatty, the fact of the matter is that people like you- people who feel entitled to view me as a body instead of a person, who spend more time writing about my sweat than you do asking yourself who I actually am, the person who smugly writes a public post with the explicit purpose of making themselves feel like a hero without for one second considering how many awful, shaming, disrespectful things are actually being said...

You are the reason I didn't want to go to the gym for a really long time. 

You and the assumptions that you make about me. 

Contrary to popular belief, I have not been living my life in a "physical state of numbness and passivity". Quite the opposite in fact- I have been raising two children under the age of five, have been living a wonderful and enriching marriage with my husband (yes, including sex. No, he isn't a "fatty" too...some men find women attractive for more things than just their body size), I have been working full time. I have been enjoying family vacations, drinking wine with my girlfriends, and generally living a pretty content and fulfilled existence.

No one who knows me beyond a fleeting side-glance at my sweat-soaked back would ever call me 'numb' or 'passive'. 

And while the decision to learn to master my body and move it in challenging and engaging ways like running wasn't an easy one, it was made a very long time ago...somewhere along the same time as my decision to be more considerate of the food choices that I make for myself and for my children.

These were difficult decisions...but not because "every hard breath" I take is easier than the one before, or because "every step is ever so slightly lighter" (in fact, neither of these are necessarily true. Running does not necessarily equate weight loss. And weight loss does not a runner make. And not all my breaths are easier now than they were before...because I am running faster and harder than ever...Which is also why I was sweating so much...but anyway...)

And that "former person" you begrudgingly dismiss? Well, she doesn't exist. It has always been me, in this body, this whole time. After all, you only get one body and you are only ever one person.

And I always was 'forward-looking' and I always knew that anything was possible. I learned those lessons in much more meaningful ways than weight loss. I learned them when I faced life or death situations, when I held my newborn infants, when I accomplished any number of the thousands of goals and dreams that I have had in my (fat) life. Heck, some of them even happened when I was even more fat than you think I am now. Crazy, right?

So I may be a hero to you, but you should know that you are not one to me. I felt your creepy, judgemental gaze on my boy and I saw in your exactly what I have seen in people like you my entire life: You are not my friend. And you do not have my best interest at heart, even if you think you do. 

Your interest lies in three things: 1) Using me as an inspiration-porn to validate your health/fitness lifestyle and promote an archaic idea of what health/fitness mean (see your blog post), 2) Using your stereotypes about my fat body to reenforce to yourself why you do what you do and why you value what you value. (Seriously, I can't tell you how many people will openly admit that they only work out in order to not get 'fat'), 3) Making yourself feel better about yourself by treating the outcast fat person with such a minute modicum of good will that it doesn't even qualify as 'kindness'. 

Your contempt, disguised as cordiality...Your magnanimous belief that you are entitled to grant me clemency for the sin of fatness, because 'hey, at least she's trying NOT to be fat'...your self-aggrandizing act of philanthropy in using me as the inspiration for your fat-phobic diatribe....

You are gross. And you are not a hero to me.

And if you'd take off your blinders and put your head out there in the real world for more than a second or two, you will see a whole population of amazing, compassionate, intelligent, beautiful, funny, and admirable fat people who are living happily, with or without your gym. And if you use a particle of common sense, you will realize that you actually know absolutely NOTHING about the health and fitness routines of these people. All of your assumptions are based on the exact same ridiculous stereotypes that you claim that I am crushing because you happened to catch in the middle of a work out.

And all those people who made the resolutions to improve their health, and whom you never say at your gym again? Well, maybe you're the reason why.

Personally, I hope I don't have to run with you again. And if I do, I hope you'll spare me the saccharine niceties.   

I'm a runner, and I don't need you to tell me that. I am moving forward because life only goes in one direction. I am amazed by myself every damn day because I am as awesome as I am 'fat'.

And one day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you'll step outside and notice that there's a fatty running laps around you. And it will challenge your self-esteem, because you have spent your life determining your self-worth in relationship to my waist line.

You will not believe your own body has let you down, that your worldview was this fragile. And maybe...just maybe, a new horizon will open up for you. You'll see that you were being an asshole, and you'll begin to make changes.

In the meanwhile, please don't assume I need your support. I've been doing just fine, despite you and people like you. 

I laugh at you.

Fool.

Can you compliment me on my weight loss without engaging in fat shaming?

A wonderful and beautiful friend commented on a picture that I shared today and her words really got me thinking:

I am, and always will be, a strong advocate for body positivity and celebrating bodies at any/every size. I do not believe in judging a person's worth by their mass, volume or density. I believe that inside every body is a person, and that this is what should be celebrated.  And I believe that all bodies are beautiful testaments to the diversity of humanity.

And yet...I have set out this year to massively transform my body's relationship with gravity, as well as my body's physical form. There is no doubt that what started as a burning desire to simply become stronger eventually morphed into a quest for a reduced body fat percentage and a lower numeric digit on my scale.

While strength, agility, flexibility and overall athleticism remain my targets, I have used my scale- among other tools- as a measure of the progress I was making towards a better understanding of my body and its capacity to achieve.

So yes. Though I have found multiple euphemisms to describe it differently, there is no doubt about it. I have been 'dieting', in the most traditional sense of the word.

Does that make me disingenuous? And, beyond that, can others recognize the accomplishment of my goals as something to be celebrated and lauded?

This is a complex question, and one that I have been wrestling with since I lost my first 20 lbs and people started to notice the changes in my body.

For what it's worth, I'm not alone in this. As I struggled, I found other bloggers who shared similar confusion about how to reconcile their body-positive beliefs and their desire to lose weight. One of the best posts I read was by someone named Greta Christina, and it can be read here. She poignantly writes:

And as much as I want my weight loss to purely be about my health, the reality is that, now that I'm in the process, it's become more about my appearance than I'd like. I really don't want that: I find it politically troubling and emotionally toxic, and I think in the long run it'll undermine what I'm trying to do. But it's hard. As much as I like to think of myself as a free-spirited, convention- defying rebel, the reality is that I'm a social animal, and social animals care about what other animals think of them.

And just like that, she took the words right out of my heart...with a spoon...cause it sure hurts to admit them.

I loved myself when I was fat. I really did. And I appreciated my fat body. And I was loved for the person that I was inside it.

But, let's face it. The world didn't love my fat body. The world is ignorant and cruel and judgmental.

And now, the world is kind. The world is respectful. The world is even admiring me.

And it isn't fair. And it isn't right. But it feels good. Because being treated so poorly for so long, I had forgotten what it was like when you aren't actually outcasted from society's good graces. I had forgotten how easy the royal court of social acceptance could be.

And this is the last monster that I need to slay: the monster inside my own mind that is still under the constant bombardment of body-shaming strategies that are so deeply ingrained in our social consciousness that we fool ourselves into thinking that they aren't there.

I don't like my thin body better than I liked my fat one. Quite the opposite, actually. I am much, much harder on myself at a size 6 than I ever was at a size 16.

But I do like how people treat my thin body better than how they treated my fat body. It is easy and comfortable to blend in and to be seen as a valuable human being...

And so now you all know my secret. I have been feeling like a fraud for a very long time, and it feels good to finally come clean.

For my fat friends: I am so sorry. And I am trying to do better.
For my thin friends: I am so sorry. And I am trying to do better.

As for society as a whole: You suck. Seriously. When it comes to bodies, you suck.

Living with you is like a toxic domestic relationship. You hurt me so badly, so repeatedly, for so long that I am now at the point were I am crying in gratitude if you so much as go one day without making me feel ashamed and self-loathing, let alone actually treat me with kindness and dignity.

Now, more than ever, my self-esteem is controlled- dominated- by your opinion of me; of who I was, who I am, and who I am becoming.

So here is the ugly truth: I am one of the most body positive people I have ever met...with everyone except myself.

So now what? Well, I guess I ask for your patience as I continue to work through these really difficult, complex emotions. And I ask for your support in doing so by urging you to talk to me in ways that remind me of my own body positivity and keep me from fat-shaming myself.

Which brings us back to the main question: Can you compliment me on my weight loss without engaging in fat shaming?

The short answer is yes. You can. It requires diligent effort, but you can.

You can tell me that you are proud of me for sticking to my goals, and for pushing myself and my body in new and exciting directions.

You can recognize the time, effort, sweat, tears, and continuous dedication and commitment that it takes to go through a massive weight reduction/physical activity transformation.

You can tell me that my weight loss has inspired you to consider your own body choices, and even possibly engage in your own journey of self-discovery, whatever that may look like to you.

You can tell me that I look beautiful, and then- on those days where I lose grip of the bigger picture, you can remind me that I am beautiful every day regardless of my body fat percentage is, and that I always was.

There are countless ways to celebrate with me without shaming me and other fat people.

But there are some things to stay far away from:

1. "You look so much better now"- anything that compares me to what I used to look like in a way that presumes that I am a better/more attractive/healthier/etc. person now than I used to be is fat shaming. This includes "You must feel so much better about yourself" or "I bet you wish you had done this years ago." For more on why these don't apply to me, please refer to this post.

2. "If only everyone had your determination, commitment, strength, fortitude, etc." Presuming that other people should follow in my footsteps is fat shaming. Every person has a unique journey with their body. There is no need for every person to reduce their body size. In fact, there is no need for ANY person to reduce their body size if they don't want to. Beyond that, it is ableist to assume that every person CAN reduce their body size. Please do not compare other people to me.

3. "Your husband must be thrilled." My husband married a fat woman. He has always loved my body, in any size. He is thrilled that I am feeling good about my accomplishments. But my size has simply not impacted our relationship in any way, sexually or otherwise.

4. "Fat/Unhealthy/Overweight/Obese/etc. people just need to <insert catch phrase about diet/weight loss/healthy food/etc. here> Seriously. Don't make assertions about what other people need to do with their bodies. It isn't any of your damn business. No two fat bodies are created alike and fatness is a much more complex phenomenon than the fitness and/or 'medical' industries would have you believe.

Don't engage in fat-shaming, whether passively or directly. Because it hurts everyone. I know this because I was fat recently enough to remember how being socially ostracized because of fatness felt. And I am thin enough now to know the double edged sword of fat shaming, which is that the fear of that social bullying lingers inside us all and terrifies us into aspiring for virtually unachievable levels of body perfection.

Because fat shaming is body shaming. And all of us have bodies, and all of us are impacted by the consequences of body shaming as a whole. No one wins in the race to the smallest waist size or the leanest arms. The only way to 'win' at this game is 1) to love yourself, from the beginning of your goals and all the way until you crush them, and beyond. And, 2) as you do so, show body positivity to the world and call out fat shaming/body shaming when and where you see it, because these social institutions that marginalize and demean people based on their body size will not crumble without massive pressure.

I have the second point pretty much down pat...but I'm still working on the first part. My body isn't the only part of me being transformed, and my emotions and psyche still need to catch up to all of my awesome physical victories.

So please be patient and kind with me, and I promise to continue doing the same to you. 

There is a secret to weight loss...but it isn't what you think it is!

I try to minimize my posts on 'weight loss' for a variety of reasons. I prefer to focus on health and wellness in a wholistic sense, which can include the physical size of your body and its relationship with gravity, but is so much more than numbers on a scale or the total amount of fat your physical form occupies.

However, of all the questions I get, the vast majority have to do with the desire to lose weight.

Let me be clear here: There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight. There is nothing wrong with wanting your body to feel healthy, strong and attractive to yourself and to others. I do believe that physical attraction is a much more complex equation than just body size, and that humans can be beautiful at any size. But there is nothing wrong with wanting to reduce your body size if that is your goal.

Now, you have likely heard a million 'facts' about weight loss. You've been inundated with promises of the 'secret' to success. Diet pills, magic herbs, potent protein shakes...you've seen them all. You've probably even tried a few, with varying levels of success. Most do not deliver on their promises.

The claims you've been sold aren't true.

You've also been inundated with catch phrases like "There IS no secret to weight loss", and told that weight is a simple relationship between food consumed and calories burned.  You've been told that being overweight is a choice, a lifestyle mistake, an error in judgment or a lack of self respect.

These claims aren't true either.

Weight is complex. Why? Because the body is complex. And every body reacts slightly differently to every stimulus introduced. Some people will have success with certain tactics, and others will not.

There is no one size fits all solution for how to reduce your size.

But, I believe that there is a secret to weight loss. And it isn't the one that the health and fitness industries have been trying to sell you.

It is the one tool that no one can give you except yourself, and it is the one thing that will help you succeed in your goals:

Weight loss, like all other forms of self-improvement, is fuelled by the mind and the heart long before it is fuelled by the body.

The secret to weight loss is self-love. 

"What?" you ask. "Isn't it the other way around?"

No. 

You must love yourself in order to truly be successful at weight loss, and the reason why is simple:

Losing weight is hard. Whether you choose to do it by focusing exclusively on diet, on exercise, or on a combination of both, it is hard. It requires massive changes to your lifestyle. It requires a strong sense of will and determination in the faces of sabotages and social pressures. It requires a commitment of time, energy and resources.

And for you to be willing to go through all of that, you must fundamentally come to terms with one thing: You are a valuable person, one who is worth investing time, energy, effort, and resources into. 

Pretend for a moment, that you have been given $5000.00, but that you have to invest it in order to keep it. I imagine that most of us would want to seek out businesses that are strong, successful and show indications of growth and stability in the future.

Some of us might be willing to gamble on the little guy, the one who doesn't have an established sales base but that has an idea or product that you genuinely believe will be successful and will make the world a better place.

But few of us would put our money into a business that didn't have a strong value, that was failing financially or was on the brink of collapse. We wouldn't see this business as worth investing in. We would deem it a waste of resources. The cost is too high for the potential benefit.

Many of our decisions in life are made by weighing costs and benefits. We think of some things as being worth the pain, effort and difficulty, and deem other things unworthy. One clear example that comes to my mind was having children. Pregnancy, for me, was a very risky affair. I knew that it was risking my health and even my life. But the benefit- the possibility of having children- that outweighed all the risks. It was a worthwhile investment, one that I have never regretted.

But even in simple every day decisions: whether or not to clean, what to cook for dinner, what to wear...we consider cost and rewards on a constant basis, and the dominant question is often: Is this worth my time and energy? If the answer is no, we generally do not proceed unless we are forced to do so.

Health, fitness and weight loss involve similar decision making processes. Every day, you decide what you will eat, what you will do, whether or not to exercise, etc. In making these choices, we ask ourselves: Is it worth it?

But what we really should be asking is: Am I worth it?

Am I worth the time it would take to make my body feel good about moving?
Am I worth the time it would take to eat food that makes me feel healthy and alive?
Am I worth the investment of energy and time required to meet my own health needs?

The answer must be a resounding yes. 

Because if it isn't, not only will you struggle with all the changes you are making; you will also struggle with understanding the point of it all.

And the sad truth is that weight loss can be a difficult, time consuming, sometimes frustrating, and  always vulnerable experience. And we, as human beings, tend to see ourselves in terms of the decisions we have already made, as opposed to the ones that we are making or are trying to make. We live in the world of 'I didn't do...' instead of the world of "I did!"

We see every poor decision as a sunk cost- a loss that has already been incurred and can not be recovered.

But this isn't true. Every side step in the path of life is an opportunity.

Human beings are works in progress. We are always growing, evolving and learning- which means that every decision made, even the unwise ones, has the potential to be an opportunity for self-betterment and growth. When we recognize in ourselves that we are always 'works in progress', we begin to truly realize the need and necessity of putting energy towards self-improvement and self-care.

When you begin with "I am worth the time and effort it takes to feel good about myself. I deserve to feel good about myself. I am important, valuable and full of potential", then it is a lot easier to push through when the going gets tough.

The fitness industry, and often even the health and medical industry, try to convince you that you need to be healthy/fit/thin/beautiful/etc. to be valuable. But one thing that we often forget in this journey is that these 'professionals' actually make their money and livelihood off of convincing people that they aren't good enough as they are. That they need to be 'improved'. That they need to change from the outside in.

What I am telling you- what I have lived, and what I have witnessed others living- is that wellness happens from the inside out.

When you begin to love yourself for who you- not for your body, or its relationship with gravity, but for the value that you bring to the world just by being in it- and when you begin to recognize that you are worthy of time, energy, effort and self-love...that is when you begin to feel empowered.

And, like all life changes, weight loss depends on your ability to feel empowered, confident and positive.

So before you hit the scale every morning, hit the mirror. Look at yourself- not necessary your appearance but your self- and remind yourself that you are a valuable, powerful, amazing human being who can move mountains.

When the numbers matter less than how you feel about yourself, you'll be surprised at how much easier the whole process becomes.

Preparing to Craft A Personal Mission Statement

Hi everyone! This week we've been looking at crafting a personal mission statement. This post will take you through the process, in the steps that we've broken down, and help you get set up for actually writing your Life Mission, Vision and Values.

STEP 1: Identify the moments in your life that made you feel the most proud and valuable

A Personal Mission statement is one that guides you towards the best possible version of you. By reflecting on your past successes and proudest moments, you will likely see themes emerge that help you identify the course of life that makes you the most happy.

Here are some examples of what makes me feel proud: 

• I feel proudest when I accomplish goals, especially ones that required a lot of extra work or challenged me in new and exciting ways.
• I feel proudest when I contribute to causes/issues that are important to me and that I believe better my world. 
• I feel proudest when I am able to support my children, my spouse and my friends in ways that make them feel empowered, capable, respected and valuable.
• I feel proudest when others recognize that I am always learning, growing and trying to be a better person. This includes acknowledging when I was wrong about something, and making active efforts to rectify these wrongs when and where I can. 
• I feel proudest when I know that I have met all my needs as a human being and that I have achieved a level of balance in my life that makes me feel fulfilled. 
• I feel proudest when I am part of something that is bigger than me, in which my voice is viewed as important and unique, but is also part of a bigger picture that relies on others to be complete. 
• I feel proudest when I present the best possible version of myself to the world, and know that the person I present truly reflects the person that I am inside. 

Emerging Themes:

• I am driven by my love of empowering others. This has steered me into a variety of different directions in my life, including teaching, working with vulnerable populations, advocacy and community awareness. 
• I am driven by the very firm belief that every person brings value to the world and that every life experience is worthy of acknowledgement and respect. 
•  Despite my innate social anxiety, I am often drawn into leadership roles, and am at my most effective when I am working with others towards a common goal.
• I require a sense of accomplishment and/or of completion in order to feel fully fulfilled by an activity. Objectives, for me, are as important (if not more so) than goals. 
• There is nothing I love more than helping others love themselves. 

STEP 2: Identify Your Strengths

Your strengths are the characteristics that are intrinsic to you that allow you to accomplish things in your life. These, combined with your weaknesses and with your cumulative life experience, are what make you a unique individual and allow you to bring your very best to the world around you. 

Here are some examples of my personal strengths:

• I am a very powerful and loving person. 
• I genuinely believe that every person, given the right amount of support and accommodation, is able to achieve extraordinary things. 
• I do not discriminate against others, and actively work at recognizing my own privilege and internal stereotypes.
• I have often been recognized as being a natural leader.
• I am an excellent communicator and am able to convey my thoughts in both written and oral form in such a way that audiences understand what I am saying. My words often add value to discussions, and I am able to concisely deliver large amounts of information in ways that relatable. I am easily able to adapt my communication style to different types of learners, including very young children and those with communication/language differences. I am also a strong body-language/non-verbal communicator. 
• I am always learning, growing, experimenting and questioning the world around me. 
• I am not afraid of failure.
• I am an exceptional strategist, capable of breaking massive projects/goals into smaller ones, and easily able to identify gaps, opportunities, threats and risks. 

STEP 3: Identify Your Personal Values

Personal Mission Statements don't only reflect where you want to go, but they reflect the way in which you want to get there! Identify the internal values that drive you allows to ensure that the direction that you are taking is one that is consistent with who you are as a person, and what you believe to be right, honourable and true to yourself. 

Here are some examples of my personal values:

• I believe in treating others with acceptance, respect and empathy. 
• I believe in doing the thing that is right, fair, equitable and just. 
• I believe in self-care, self-respect, and personal empowerment. 
• I believe that knowledge is power, and that it should be shared with all those who seek it. 
• I believe in living life with exuberance, seizing every single opportunity available to become a fuller, more enlightened human being. 
• The most important thing to me is the happiness of those I love.

All of this can be summed up by the following value statement: 

If you aren't making someone elses's life better, you are living your life wrong.

STEP 3: Identify Your Short Term Goals and (And Longer Term Dreams)

When considering the difference between goals and dreams, there are two important distinctions to be made: 1) Do you have a timeline for it? 2) Are you actively working towards it?

For the most part, dreams are relatively intangible. They exist in the part of you that is able to suspend disbelief and envision what life would look like if you were unconstrained.  

Goals, on the other hand, are more concrete. They have timelines for when they should be accomplished, have objectives that allow progress to be measured and a variety of strategies and tactics in place to make them achievable. 

We tend to assume that dreams are unachievable, whereas goals can be achieved. This is sometimes true. I mean, I dream of being an internationally recognized singer...and the chances are pretty strong that I never will be. However, it isn't innately true. In many cases, dreams can easily convert into goals if you feel enough motivation to pursue them in such a way as to make them achievable. 

This is why the idea that dreams are somehow inferior to goals is flawed. Dreams are often what drive our goals. They are our idyllic sense of self, and can give us great insight into who we are and what we want from our experience here on earth. 

Here are a few examples of my personal dreams:

• I dream of a world that accepts all people, regardless of their biological, mental, emotional, and psychological differences and ability levels.
• I dream of a future in which I am completely financially secure, never having to ask myself if I will be able to support my family, even in a state of emergency. 
• I dream of a career that brings me truly fulfilling joy and a sense of daily pride, in which I genuinely believe that I am serving the world to the very best of my capacity.  
• I dream of one day writing one of the dozens of books that I have in the back of my mind. 
• I dream of seeing the world; of sitting where Plato sat, drinking where Shakespeare drank, and exploring the very earliest signs of man. 
• I dream of being remembered as someone important, not just to those around me, but to the world as a whole. 
• I dream of feeling as well in my own skin as humanly possible, of being stronger, faster, and more agile than I ever thought possible. I dream of learning how to be beautiful from the inside out. 
• I dream of taking all.of.the.things. in school. Really. I just want to go to school forever, all the time. 

As you can see, my dreams echo many of the earlier themes that evolved during our strengths and values brainstorming steps. In looking at my answers, it is clear that I want to serve others. I want to make the world a better, more loving and understanding place. I want to learn constantly, and seek out new adventures.

These dreams are the benchmarks of my personal vision and mission for myself. They the truest, most unconstrained version of myself. And they lead me directly into my goals.

As mentioned, goals are more concrete. I usually suggest keeping goal timelines within a 3 year time frame- or roughly 1000 days, but you may need more time than that depending on the goal (a university degree may take four years, for example.)

Most business professionals will tell you that goals should be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Timely), and I would be inclined to agree with them. But I would add three more words to this common acronym: IES. (SMARTIES...get it?)

Inspiring: Working towards your goal should make you feel elevated, fulfilled and inspired. If a goal is not inspiring, it is seldom motivating enough to be worth pushing through when barriers hit.  

Evolving: When taking on a goal, it is important to remember that you, as a human being, are in a constant state of evolution. As such, your hopes, dreams and- yes- even your goals are going to undergo some evolution as well. Seeing a goal as evolving is recognizing the need to remain adaptable, flexible, and open to new ideas, information and directions.  

Synergetic: Goals don't exist in a vacuum. People usually have multiple goals that they are working towards. Synergy is the process in which the "whole" becomes greater than each individual "part". Recognizing that each individual goal, while important, is simply a part of the greater vision of what you are trying to accomplish allows you to prioritize different objectives, and ensure that all your goals are actually cohesive and complementary.

In crafting my own personal goals, I try to focus on the 'synergy' aspect, reaching for as wholistic an array of goals as possible including some from every aspect of my life. In this example, I will outline one from each of the major groupings: Mind (referring to education, career, and life long learning), Body (referring to the physical state of my body), and Soul (encompassing all of the different things that feel my soul/spirit including my human relationships, my relationship with my self, my relationship with any higher powers/religion/spirituality, as it may apply).**

NOTE: Goals are broken down into objectives (which we will look at more in our section on goal setting), but for our current purposes, it is completely appropriate to keep your goals very broad and less time-focused.

**Mental Health can fall into any of the three categories, depending on which you feel is most appropriate for you. In my personal goal setting, I tend to include it with the body, as I believe that mental health is a critical component of physical health. However, at times I have also included it under "Soul" and "Mind", depending on the circumstances. 

Here are some examples of my current goals, stated loosely and without specifications:

Mind: To return to school and complete a program that brings me intellectual fulfillment, as well as presenting me with new challenges and career opportunities in the field of Health and Wellness by 2017.

Body: To continue working towards exploring my body's capacity in terms of strength, speed and agility by increasing my current goals markers (I have preexisting fitness goals with specific objectives surrounding body fat percentage, physical lifting/pressing capacity and timed events such as specific races. My Body Goals will be continuations of these already evolving goals.)

Soul: To continue building the community of Shame Free Wellness by sharing stories, ideas, and feedback that are focused on body positivity, self-love, self-care, and self-acceptance so that it is a thriving and welcoming environment for those who are new to the journey of wellness. 

And there you have it. The foundations for crafting the actual personal mission statement, as well as accompanying vision and value statements. From there, we will refine our goals using the SMARTIES model and begin to identify the strategies, tactics and objectives needed to achieve them!

Life Planning: Time to Get My Groove Back

So March and April were kind of a write off for me. I hit my weight goals, but really fell off the fitness and training band wagons hard. I really want to get back in high gear to make sure that this is the best, most active summer of my life and that I am fully prepared for starting school in the fall.

So...I am going back to ground zero: Life Planning.

Most of the time, I have a routine that allows me to really not overthink things. I can eat pretty much what I want to, because I am eating well as a whole. I can work out as much as I want to, because I work out generally every day. I feel in control of my life and of my choices...

But lately, I have lost that sense of self control. I am feeling undisciplined. I am feeling myself slipping.

Again, this isn't about 'weight'- I'm still losing at roughly the same rate that I have been from the get go. But the choices that I am making in order *to* lose that weight aren't as wholistic and positive as they used to be. And I am no longer enjoying the process, which is a sure sign that it is time to change things up.

As a business consultant, I often talk to businesses that are in a 'rut'. Whether their sales have slowed, their growth has stalled or they are struggling with launching the next phase of their plan, most businesses don't call in a consultant unless things aren't going as smoothly as possible.

My first step in almost every case is to pull them back to the drawing board- literally- and do some strategic planning.  Revisiting a company's goals, mission, vision, values, and strategies (financial, marketing, personnel/HR etc.) is often exactly what is needed in order to get back on the right path and create objectives and benchmarks that are relevant and realistic.

After all, as important as goals are (and they are), they don't serve much purpose if they are driving you in the wrong direction, or steering you into a circle.

My experience with health and wellness has been that, like with business, this is all too often the case. Our goals don't always actually reflect where we want to go, how we want to get there and who we want to be when we reach them.  We just arbitrarily pick things that we *think* should be our goals without actually asking ourselves why we are choosing that particular path.

It really is this simple: As well thought out and SMART as your goals may be, if they aren't actually furthering your larger vision for yourself, then they are taking you down the wrong path.  

Many of the same principles of strategic planning can apply easily to personal planning and self-development.  Over the course of the next seven weeks, I will share with you as I take on the process of resetting myself, discovering my next priorities, goals, objectives, strategies and tactics, and creating a plan that will steer me safely and happily towards the next stage of my life.

If you are interested, feel free to follow along. When possible, I will provide some templates and give you some of the tools that you can use to work your way through this process with me.  I will have a post a week, each one taking you through a section of the planning process. If you want to create your own plan, I strongly suggest opening up a blog space of your own or dedicating a journal to it, so that you have somewhere to record your plan as you progress with it.