There is a secret to weight loss...but it isn't what you think it is!

I try to minimize my posts on 'weight loss' for a variety of reasons. I prefer to focus on health and wellness in a wholistic sense, which can include the physical size of your body and its relationship with gravity, but is so much more than numbers on a scale or the total amount of fat your physical form occupies.

However, of all the questions I get, the vast majority have to do with the desire to lose weight.

Let me be clear here: There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight. There is nothing wrong with wanting your body to feel healthy, strong and attractive to yourself and to others. I do believe that physical attraction is a much more complex equation than just body size, and that humans can be beautiful at any size. But there is nothing wrong with wanting to reduce your body size if that is your goal.

Now, you have likely heard a million 'facts' about weight loss. You've been inundated with promises of the 'secret' to success. Diet pills, magic herbs, potent protein shakes...you've seen them all. You've probably even tried a few, with varying levels of success. Most do not deliver on their promises.

The claims you've been sold aren't true.

You've also been inundated with catch phrases like "There IS no secret to weight loss", and told that weight is a simple relationship between food consumed and calories burned.  You've been told that being overweight is a choice, a lifestyle mistake, an error in judgment or a lack of self respect.

These claims aren't true either.

Weight is complex. Why? Because the body is complex. And every body reacts slightly differently to every stimulus introduced. Some people will have success with certain tactics, and others will not.

There is no one size fits all solution for how to reduce your size.

But, I believe that there is a secret to weight loss. And it isn't the one that the health and fitness industries have been trying to sell you.

It is the one tool that no one can give you except yourself, and it is the one thing that will help you succeed in your goals:

Weight loss, like all other forms of self-improvement, is fuelled by the mind and the heart long before it is fuelled by the body.

The secret to weight loss is self-love. 

"What?" you ask. "Isn't it the other way around?"

No. 

You must love yourself in order to truly be successful at weight loss, and the reason why is simple:

Losing weight is hard. Whether you choose to do it by focusing exclusively on diet, on exercise, or on a combination of both, it is hard. It requires massive changes to your lifestyle. It requires a strong sense of will and determination in the faces of sabotages and social pressures. It requires a commitment of time, energy and resources.

And for you to be willing to go through all of that, you must fundamentally come to terms with one thing: You are a valuable person, one who is worth investing time, energy, effort, and resources into. 

Pretend for a moment, that you have been given $5000.00, but that you have to invest it in order to keep it. I imagine that most of us would want to seek out businesses that are strong, successful and show indications of growth and stability in the future.

Some of us might be willing to gamble on the little guy, the one who doesn't have an established sales base but that has an idea or product that you genuinely believe will be successful and will make the world a better place.

But few of us would put our money into a business that didn't have a strong value, that was failing financially or was on the brink of collapse. We wouldn't see this business as worth investing in. We would deem it a waste of resources. The cost is too high for the potential benefit.

Many of our decisions in life are made by weighing costs and benefits. We think of some things as being worth the pain, effort and difficulty, and deem other things unworthy. One clear example that comes to my mind was having children. Pregnancy, for me, was a very risky affair. I knew that it was risking my health and even my life. But the benefit- the possibility of having children- that outweighed all the risks. It was a worthwhile investment, one that I have never regretted.

But even in simple every day decisions: whether or not to clean, what to cook for dinner, what to wear...we consider cost and rewards on a constant basis, and the dominant question is often: Is this worth my time and energy? If the answer is no, we generally do not proceed unless we are forced to do so.

Health, fitness and weight loss involve similar decision making processes. Every day, you decide what you will eat, what you will do, whether or not to exercise, etc. In making these choices, we ask ourselves: Is it worth it?

But what we really should be asking is: Am I worth it?

Am I worth the time it would take to make my body feel good about moving?
Am I worth the time it would take to eat food that makes me feel healthy and alive?
Am I worth the investment of energy and time required to meet my own health needs?

The answer must be a resounding yes. 

Because if it isn't, not only will you struggle with all the changes you are making; you will also struggle with understanding the point of it all.

And the sad truth is that weight loss can be a difficult, time consuming, sometimes frustrating, and  always vulnerable experience. And we, as human beings, tend to see ourselves in terms of the decisions we have already made, as opposed to the ones that we are making or are trying to make. We live in the world of 'I didn't do...' instead of the world of "I did!"

We see every poor decision as a sunk cost- a loss that has already been incurred and can not be recovered.

But this isn't true. Every side step in the path of life is an opportunity.

Human beings are works in progress. We are always growing, evolving and learning- which means that every decision made, even the unwise ones, has the potential to be an opportunity for self-betterment and growth. When we recognize in ourselves that we are always 'works in progress', we begin to truly realize the need and necessity of putting energy towards self-improvement and self-care.

When you begin with "I am worth the time and effort it takes to feel good about myself. I deserve to feel good about myself. I am important, valuable and full of potential", then it is a lot easier to push through when the going gets tough.

The fitness industry, and often even the health and medical industry, try to convince you that you need to be healthy/fit/thin/beautiful/etc. to be valuable. But one thing that we often forget in this journey is that these 'professionals' actually make their money and livelihood off of convincing people that they aren't good enough as they are. That they need to be 'improved'. That they need to change from the outside in.

What I am telling you- what I have lived, and what I have witnessed others living- is that wellness happens from the inside out.

When you begin to love yourself for who you- not for your body, or its relationship with gravity, but for the value that you bring to the world just by being in it- and when you begin to recognize that you are worthy of time, energy, effort and self-love...that is when you begin to feel empowered.

And, like all life changes, weight loss depends on your ability to feel empowered, confident and positive.

So before you hit the scale every morning, hit the mirror. Look at yourself- not necessary your appearance but your self- and remind yourself that you are a valuable, powerful, amazing human being who can move mountains.

When the numbers matter less than how you feel about yourself, you'll be surprised at how much easier the whole process becomes.

Preparing to Craft A Personal Mission Statement

Hi everyone! This week we've been looking at crafting a personal mission statement. This post will take you through the process, in the steps that we've broken down, and help you get set up for actually writing your Life Mission, Vision and Values.

STEP 1: Identify the moments in your life that made you feel the most proud and valuable

A Personal Mission statement is one that guides you towards the best possible version of you. By reflecting on your past successes and proudest moments, you will likely see themes emerge that help you identify the course of life that makes you the most happy.

Here are some examples of what makes me feel proud: 

• I feel proudest when I accomplish goals, especially ones that required a lot of extra work or challenged me in new and exciting ways.
• I feel proudest when I contribute to causes/issues that are important to me and that I believe better my world. 
• I feel proudest when I am able to support my children, my spouse and my friends in ways that make them feel empowered, capable, respected and valuable.
• I feel proudest when others recognize that I am always learning, growing and trying to be a better person. This includes acknowledging when I was wrong about something, and making active efforts to rectify these wrongs when and where I can. 
• I feel proudest when I know that I have met all my needs as a human being and that I have achieved a level of balance in my life that makes me feel fulfilled. 
• I feel proudest when I am part of something that is bigger than me, in which my voice is viewed as important and unique, but is also part of a bigger picture that relies on others to be complete. 
• I feel proudest when I present the best possible version of myself to the world, and know that the person I present truly reflects the person that I am inside. 

Emerging Themes:

• I am driven by my love of empowering others. This has steered me into a variety of different directions in my life, including teaching, working with vulnerable populations, advocacy and community awareness. 
• I am driven by the very firm belief that every person brings value to the world and that every life experience is worthy of acknowledgement and respect. 
•  Despite my innate social anxiety, I am often drawn into leadership roles, and am at my most effective when I am working with others towards a common goal.
• I require a sense of accomplishment and/or of completion in order to feel fully fulfilled by an activity. Objectives, for me, are as important (if not more so) than goals. 
• There is nothing I love more than helping others love themselves. 

STEP 2: Identify Your Strengths

Your strengths are the characteristics that are intrinsic to you that allow you to accomplish things in your life. These, combined with your weaknesses and with your cumulative life experience, are what make you a unique individual and allow you to bring your very best to the world around you. 

Here are some examples of my personal strengths:

• I am a very powerful and loving person. 
• I genuinely believe that every person, given the right amount of support and accommodation, is able to achieve extraordinary things. 
• I do not discriminate against others, and actively work at recognizing my own privilege and internal stereotypes.
• I have often been recognized as being a natural leader.
• I am an excellent communicator and am able to convey my thoughts in both written and oral form in such a way that audiences understand what I am saying. My words often add value to discussions, and I am able to concisely deliver large amounts of information in ways that relatable. I am easily able to adapt my communication style to different types of learners, including very young children and those with communication/language differences. I am also a strong body-language/non-verbal communicator. 
• I am always learning, growing, experimenting and questioning the world around me. 
• I am not afraid of failure.
• I am an exceptional strategist, capable of breaking massive projects/goals into smaller ones, and easily able to identify gaps, opportunities, threats and risks. 

STEP 3: Identify Your Personal Values

Personal Mission Statements don't only reflect where you want to go, but they reflect the way in which you want to get there! Identify the internal values that drive you allows to ensure that the direction that you are taking is one that is consistent with who you are as a person, and what you believe to be right, honourable and true to yourself. 

Here are some examples of my personal values:

• I believe in treating others with acceptance, respect and empathy. 
• I believe in doing the thing that is right, fair, equitable and just. 
• I believe in self-care, self-respect, and personal empowerment. 
• I believe that knowledge is power, and that it should be shared with all those who seek it. 
• I believe in living life with exuberance, seizing every single opportunity available to become a fuller, more enlightened human being. 
• The most important thing to me is the happiness of those I love.

All of this can be summed up by the following value statement: 

If you aren't making someone elses's life better, you are living your life wrong.

STEP 3: Identify Your Short Term Goals and (And Longer Term Dreams)

When considering the difference between goals and dreams, there are two important distinctions to be made: 1) Do you have a timeline for it? 2) Are you actively working towards it?

For the most part, dreams are relatively intangible. They exist in the part of you that is able to suspend disbelief and envision what life would look like if you were unconstrained.  

Goals, on the other hand, are more concrete. They have timelines for when they should be accomplished, have objectives that allow progress to be measured and a variety of strategies and tactics in place to make them achievable. 

We tend to assume that dreams are unachievable, whereas goals can be achieved. This is sometimes true. I mean, I dream of being an internationally recognized singer...and the chances are pretty strong that I never will be. However, it isn't innately true. In many cases, dreams can easily convert into goals if you feel enough motivation to pursue them in such a way as to make them achievable. 

This is why the idea that dreams are somehow inferior to goals is flawed. Dreams are often what drive our goals. They are our idyllic sense of self, and can give us great insight into who we are and what we want from our experience here on earth. 

Here are a few examples of my personal dreams:

• I dream of a world that accepts all people, regardless of their biological, mental, emotional, and psychological differences and ability levels.
• I dream of a future in which I am completely financially secure, never having to ask myself if I will be able to support my family, even in a state of emergency. 
• I dream of a career that brings me truly fulfilling joy and a sense of daily pride, in which I genuinely believe that I am serving the world to the very best of my capacity.  
• I dream of one day writing one of the dozens of books that I have in the back of my mind. 
• I dream of seeing the world; of sitting where Plato sat, drinking where Shakespeare drank, and exploring the very earliest signs of man. 
• I dream of being remembered as someone important, not just to those around me, but to the world as a whole. 
• I dream of feeling as well in my own skin as humanly possible, of being stronger, faster, and more agile than I ever thought possible. I dream of learning how to be beautiful from the inside out. 
• I dream of taking all.of.the.things. in school. Really. I just want to go to school forever, all the time. 

As you can see, my dreams echo many of the earlier themes that evolved during our strengths and values brainstorming steps. In looking at my answers, it is clear that I want to serve others. I want to make the world a better, more loving and understanding place. I want to learn constantly, and seek out new adventures.

These dreams are the benchmarks of my personal vision and mission for myself. They the truest, most unconstrained version of myself. And they lead me directly into my goals.

As mentioned, goals are more concrete. I usually suggest keeping goal timelines within a 3 year time frame- or roughly 1000 days, but you may need more time than that depending on the goal (a university degree may take four years, for example.)

Most business professionals will tell you that goals should be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Timely), and I would be inclined to agree with them. But I would add three more words to this common acronym: IES. (SMARTIES...get it?)

Inspiring: Working towards your goal should make you feel elevated, fulfilled and inspired. If a goal is not inspiring, it is seldom motivating enough to be worth pushing through when barriers hit.  

Evolving: When taking on a goal, it is important to remember that you, as a human being, are in a constant state of evolution. As such, your hopes, dreams and- yes- even your goals are going to undergo some evolution as well. Seeing a goal as evolving is recognizing the need to remain adaptable, flexible, and open to new ideas, information and directions.  

Synergetic: Goals don't exist in a vacuum. People usually have multiple goals that they are working towards. Synergy is the process in which the "whole" becomes greater than each individual "part". Recognizing that each individual goal, while important, is simply a part of the greater vision of what you are trying to accomplish allows you to prioritize different objectives, and ensure that all your goals are actually cohesive and complementary.

In crafting my own personal goals, I try to focus on the 'synergy' aspect, reaching for as wholistic an array of goals as possible including some from every aspect of my life. In this example, I will outline one from each of the major groupings: Mind (referring to education, career, and life long learning), Body (referring to the physical state of my body), and Soul (encompassing all of the different things that feel my soul/spirit including my human relationships, my relationship with my self, my relationship with any higher powers/religion/spirituality, as it may apply).**

NOTE: Goals are broken down into objectives (which we will look at more in our section on goal setting), but for our current purposes, it is completely appropriate to keep your goals very broad and less time-focused.

**Mental Health can fall into any of the three categories, depending on which you feel is most appropriate for you. In my personal goal setting, I tend to include it with the body, as I believe that mental health is a critical component of physical health. However, at times I have also included it under "Soul" and "Mind", depending on the circumstances. 

Here are some examples of my current goals, stated loosely and without specifications:

Mind: To return to school and complete a program that brings me intellectual fulfillment, as well as presenting me with new challenges and career opportunities in the field of Health and Wellness by 2017.

Body: To continue working towards exploring my body's capacity in terms of strength, speed and agility by increasing my current goals markers (I have preexisting fitness goals with specific objectives surrounding body fat percentage, physical lifting/pressing capacity and timed events such as specific races. My Body Goals will be continuations of these already evolving goals.)

Soul: To continue building the community of Shame Free Wellness by sharing stories, ideas, and feedback that are focused on body positivity, self-love, self-care, and self-acceptance so that it is a thriving and welcoming environment for those who are new to the journey of wellness. 

And there you have it. The foundations for crafting the actual personal mission statement, as well as accompanying vision and value statements. From there, we will refine our goals using the SMARTIES model and begin to identify the strategies, tactics and objectives needed to achieve them!

Life Planning: Time to Get My Groove Back

So March and April were kind of a write off for me. I hit my weight goals, but really fell off the fitness and training band wagons hard. I really want to get back in high gear to make sure that this is the best, most active summer of my life and that I am fully prepared for starting school in the fall.

So...I am going back to ground zero: Life Planning.

Most of the time, I have a routine that allows me to really not overthink things. I can eat pretty much what I want to, because I am eating well as a whole. I can work out as much as I want to, because I work out generally every day. I feel in control of my life and of my choices...

But lately, I have lost that sense of self control. I am feeling undisciplined. I am feeling myself slipping.

Again, this isn't about 'weight'- I'm still losing at roughly the same rate that I have been from the get go. But the choices that I am making in order *to* lose that weight aren't as wholistic and positive as they used to be. And I am no longer enjoying the process, which is a sure sign that it is time to change things up.

As a business consultant, I often talk to businesses that are in a 'rut'. Whether their sales have slowed, their growth has stalled or they are struggling with launching the next phase of their plan, most businesses don't call in a consultant unless things aren't going as smoothly as possible.

My first step in almost every case is to pull them back to the drawing board- literally- and do some strategic planning.  Revisiting a company's goals, mission, vision, values, and strategies (financial, marketing, personnel/HR etc.) is often exactly what is needed in order to get back on the right path and create objectives and benchmarks that are relevant and realistic.

After all, as important as goals are (and they are), they don't serve much purpose if they are driving you in the wrong direction, or steering you into a circle.

My experience with health and wellness has been that, like with business, this is all too often the case. Our goals don't always actually reflect where we want to go, how we want to get there and who we want to be when we reach them.  We just arbitrarily pick things that we *think* should be our goals without actually asking ourselves why we are choosing that particular path.

It really is this simple: As well thought out and SMART as your goals may be, if they aren't actually furthering your larger vision for yourself, then they are taking you down the wrong path.  

Many of the same principles of strategic planning can apply easily to personal planning and self-development.  Over the course of the next seven weeks, I will share with you as I take on the process of resetting myself, discovering my next priorities, goals, objectives, strategies and tactics, and creating a plan that will steer me safely and happily towards the next stage of my life.

If you are interested, feel free to follow along. When possible, I will provide some templates and give you some of the tools that you can use to work your way through this process with me.  I will have a post a week, each one taking you through a section of the planning process. If you want to create your own plan, I strongly suggest opening up a blog space of your own or dedicating a journal to it, so that you have somewhere to record your plan as you progress with it. 

I did it...I clicked the button...

One click: Submit.

33 was a big year for me, and I was very sorry to see it go.

As I have been going through my mental checklists of my big accomplishments this year- including but not limited to: transforming my body, discovering healthier ways of managing my disabilities, making new friends and culling people from my life who took my energy and did not replenish it, deepening my relationship with my kids and my husband/co-captain and learning what is means to truly love and accept myself- a weight has been hanging over me...

What's next?

I know that I have other goals to accomplish, some of which are coming up soon (my triathlon and half marathon, for example), but these feel more like natural progressions and continuations of this year's goals rather than new goals in and of themselves.

And I've always been an adventure seeker.

I knew that it was time to seek out my biggest adventure yet.

Professionally, I have worn a lot of hats. I have worked as a political/lobby operative in multiple capacities and have held high level roles of the Corporate world, managing staffs of several hundred employees. I have managed small level outfits, ranging from retail to hospitality and even into manufacturing. I have worked as a business strategist, analyst and consultant, and built franchises from the ground up...There is no doubt that it has been busy fifteen years...

And yet, I have never been happy in my career.  I have always told myself that one day, I wanted to do something more meaningful...something that would make the world a better and happier place.

For the past several years, I believed that this direction was laid out for me; that I was destined to take my back ground in policy and political science, and do something meaningful with it. I contemplated taking my masters in Counselling or in Policy Development or in Disability Studies. I even pursued actual course work in these fields.

But those worlds are heavy, and I have learned that I need to carry a lighter load in my career in order to keep my strength for the heavy lifting on the home front.

And yet, I want to help people. I want to help them feel good. I want to help them love themselves, and challenge themselves to great things. I want to be there when they achieve goals, overcome obstacles, climb mountains and discover the very ends of their limits.

In short, I want to help others do for themselves what I was so fortunate to do last year.

So, I have made the leap. It's official. In the fall, I will be pursuing full time studies at NAIT for their Personal Fitness Trainer program. I am going to spend the next two years filling every knowledge gap that I might have from my own experiences, and crafting a program that is centred around self-care, self-love, and self-discovery.

And I will do this with one mission in mind: Breaking down the barriers of shame and exclusion that currently dominate the fitness world, and focusing on finding ways to accommodate every body, every need, and every life style who seek to find greater physical and mental health. 

Shame Free Wellness. This needs to be a thing.

But I can't do it alone. I will need my community- those of you who have been there with me every step of the way, and those of you who are just joining me today. I will others to share thoughts, ideas, learnings, practices and questions with.  I will need friends to keep me going when I feel like full time school and family and work are making me drown.

A few of you already know that I have taken on this new adventure. Your continuous support leaves me breathless, and deeply filled with gratitude.

For those of you who didn't know, I hope you'll consider joining me on this journey.

And perhaps even consider beginning one of your own.

We are all on the same team, and I have your back.

The sky truly is the limit.